Since opting for a demotion, I’ve spent the last two months pushing myself to:
- Be more visible as an entrepreneur
- Experiment with products and services
- Get my message out to the right people
It has not been easy peasy lemon squeezy. Actually, it’s been the opposite. It’s been difficult difficult lemon difficult.
In this blog post I’m sharing 5 lessons you should expect to learn when you decide that this is your time to get out there and do something you’ve always wanted to do.
But before I share that …
A quick note: just because it’s been challenging doesn’t mean it hasn’t been fun or rewarding. It’s been more than both those things. In fact, I’d say it’s because it’s been so challenging that I’ve gained so much from it. Without risk, there is no reward. And what feels riskier than being visible, experimenting, and getting your message out there?
#1. Getting in front of people means seeing yourself differently.
You know that weird bit on a video call where you flip the camera and instead of seeing your face as you would in a mirror, you see it like everyone else does?
Being more visible is like that every day. Your self-perception radically changes, because you are getting feedback (of all kinds) about yourself from the way other people respond. You are seeing yourself differently, sometimes for the first time.
None of their responses are on you, by the way. Someone trolling you or someone loving up on you are both the other person’s responsibility. But the responses you get shows you something: you are powerful. Your behaviour triggers people – into doing something good, something bad, something useful.
When you get in front of people, you can’t hide your true self anymore.
#2. Experimenting means failing, which means getting comfortable with failure.
I’ve experimented over the last two months in a myriad ways, many of which no-one sees because it’s behind the scenes. When I think back over the life of my business since I was 28, experimentation has been a keystone.
But it’s only these last two months where I’ve started to get more comfortable with the sister of experimenting: failure.
I remember hearing James Dyson talk about innovation once, and how of every 100 ideas his team had maybe 2 made it through to final development and sale. If you’re not comfortable with failing, you will miss out on those two roaring successes to save your ego getting hurt when the other 98 are thrown out the window.
We want to win. But we want to win without having to train. Imagine a hopeful Olympic athlete doing zero prep then jumping into the 100m sprint – madness. Yet we do it in our own lives, thinking we can win without failing a hundred times over.
Experiments lead to failure lead to wins. If you’re only working on something that’s a sure bet, you’re not experimenting, and I know if I’m not experimenting, I’m not growing as a human being.
#3. You’ll never know who is listening.
Making yourself more visible as the biggest, truest, most soulful expression of yourself is wonderfully exciting when people send you heart emojis and tell you how mega you are.
It is deeply deflating when there is absolutely no response. No likes, no comments, no sign ups, no sales.
But what I’ve learnt is that you never know who is listening. Social media is full of ‘lurkers’: people who post very little but use the platforms to learn and expand their minds. 49% of US adults who use Twitter post fewer than 5 tweets a month – imagine the numbers for Instagram or LinkedIn!
That means there are many, many people doing nothing, saying nothing, but watching. Listening. Paying attention.
I recently met with Chris Rabbitt, co-founder of Meeow networking. I reached out to him after a participant at my Reclaiming Your Feminine Power workshop said he’d been talking about me – not to me, but about me. We met, I got some fab advice, I taught him a breathing technique, and my network expanded.
#4. The wins will come, but they won’t look like anything you expect.
During these last couple of months I’ve not only pushed myself to get out there, be seen, and try new things, I’ve been working on my mindset to help me do this.
One of the key ideas I’ve come to accept is that your successes will not look anything like you expect them to.
We all have a picture in our mind of what we want our future, and our ‘win’, to look like. We even do it with potential partners, or our perfect job. But what happens is the more we think our success has to look like that, the more blinkered we become to other opportunities to succeed.
I’ve had to put my dreams and hopes out there to the Universe, and then allow for options, not insist on things looking a certain way. If you’ve got a bill for £100, and the Universe says you’re going to get £100 in the next 24 hours, would you insist it came to you via cheque, rather than cash? No.
The last two months (and the year as a whole) has brought me many, many wins – and none of them, not one, is what I expected. That’s what makes it fun!
#5. All your deepest, darkest fears are going to surface.
No-one, but no-one, can put themselves in front of people as their truest, most authentic self, sharing a message they deeply believe in, without all their deepest bullsh*t surfacing.
Over the last two months I have faced (and this is not an exhaustive list): fears of failure, of being cast out, fears of being seen as special, being seen as weird, fears of success, guilt for being different, guilt for having certain skills, guilt for doing more than my parents have done, and fear of not being worthy.
It’s been unpleasant. There have been lots of tears and body movement and journalling.
And. And. And.
This is exactly why I chose to take this course of action. I knew that by pushing myself to be visible and share my message in a bigger, bolder, unapologetic way, this sh*t would come up.
And once this stuff has come up, you can face it, process it and let it go.
In a way, this is why I am so dedicated to helping others express themselves, fully and unequivocally: because by doing that you not only see how powerful and magical you are, but you also see in striking clarity all of the painful things you need to tend to and process before you can grow.
And that’s why embodied practices are so crucial, because they help us process these painful feelings in immediate and liberating ways – rather than cycling round the same thought over and over again.
If you’re looking for ways to engage your confidence and intuition to do something new in your life, you might be interested in my online movement course starting 1 November 2022. The details below.
In the meantime, take care and keep getting out there, being yourself, and showing the world who you truly are.
Getting Back in Touch with Your Body
8 x 60m sessions of guided exercises in breath, visualisation, movement and journalling to help you get back in touch with your truest self